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In this article, I will use the overextended masculine, a linguistic form that includes the use of the masculine to include both people with penises and people with vulvas. This choice was made solely for ease of reading and writing, without any intention of excluding or discriminating against anyone. The goal is to make the text more readable and accessible, but it is intended to refer to all people, regardless of gender.

Abusive relationships don't start with bruises. If they did, it would probably be easier to spot it and leave a toxic relationship before it takes hold. The truth is, abuse often develops slowly and subtly, masked by romantic and affectionate gestures that initially make the relationship seem perfect.

But don't be fooled: abuse isn't just physical. It's not about sporadic, uncontrolled violence, but rather about gaining and maintaining power and control over another person. The main problem? When the other person is sweet, caring, and affectionate at first, it becomes very difficult to see the warning signs that appear later.

When a relationship begins, we often feel special, loved, and appreciated. However, change is often slow and imperceptible. The abuser slowly gains your trust, creating a bond that makes you more inclined to defend them or justify their behavior. And when things begin to change, the romantic and idealistic context that has been created can make you doubt your feelings and justify abusive behavior.

Today we want to discuss 10 signs that could indicate an abusive relationship. These signs aren't always linked to immediate physical violence, but are always symptoms of unhealthy control that can, over time, evolve into physical abuse.

1. Check who you hang out with
An abuse of power can start with small demands: who you see, where you go, who you talk to. A partner will slowly isolate you from your friends or family, making it seem like an act of love or concern. Remember, a healthy relationship should support you, not control you.

2. He pressures you to have sex
Consent must always be mutual. If your partner makes you feel guilty or pressures you to have sex, even when you don't want it, that's not love. Your sexuality is yours, and no one has the right to force you to do anything against your will.

3. Put yourself down
Belittling, ridiculing, or criticizing every aspect of you is psychological abuse that undermines your self-esteem. If your partner constantly makes you feel inferior, it will be harder for you to stand up and defend yourself.

4. Managing your money without your supervision
In a healthy relationship, financial management should be transparent and shared. If your partner takes complete control of your financial resources, limiting you and preventing you from being independent, it's a clear sign of abuse and manipulation.

5. Ask you to rank their importance in your life
Abusers can manipulate your feelings by asking you to choose between them and the people you love. A healthy relationship will never force you to choose between your partner and your family or friends. Everyone in your life is important, and you shouldn't have to compromise on that.

6. Limit the use of contraceptive methods
If your partner tries to limit your contraceptive options by manipulating your methods or trying to prevent you from protecting yourself, this is reproductive coercion . This behavior demonstrates total control over your body and your choices.

7. It makes you feel ashamed about your past sexual partners or experiences
Your sexual history is a part of you, but it shouldn't be used as a tool to make you feel inferior or guilty. If your partner makes you feel embarrassed about your past, they're trying to emotionally manipulate you to create insecurities.

8. Ultimatum
Ultimatums are a subtle form of control. "If you don't do X, then Y will happen." A partner who forces you to make a difficult choice to manipulate your response is limiting your freedom of thought and decision. True freedom in a relationship comes from being able to make choices without fear of punishment or blackmail.

9. "You're so lucky to have me."
Psychological abuse disguised as "special." If your partner makes you feel like no one else wants you or that you should be grateful for their presence, you're experiencing emotional manipulation. It's not love, it's possession.

10. Breaking objects in the house out of anger or frustration
Even if it's not direct violence against you, breaking objects or banging against walls is a clear sign of aggression and a lack of self-control. Physical abuse doesn't always begin with a direct blow; sometimes it begins with small signs of aggression that need to be ignored for a long time.

Conclusion: Recognize the signs to protect yourself

If you're in a relationship where you recognize even one of these behaviors, it's important to talk about it with someone you trust. No form of psychological, physical, or emotional abuse is acceptable. Relationships should be based on respect, mutual love, and understanding. Don't let anyone make you feel like you're less than you deserve.

Remember, there are resources and people ready to help you. If you recognize these signs, seek help immediately. You can contact:

Alternatively, reach out to a therapist, a trusted friend, or a support center in your area. Your safety and well-being are paramount.

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